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 The Naked Truth:
 Loitering, a form of male escapism

 By Dr. Hilliard Lackey
 Columnist 

    Loitering is the most frequently misspelled word adorning sidewalls 
of
storefronts from the ghetto to the far reaches of rural America. 
Whether
spelled lottering, lottring, or loafing, the connotation is the same. 
No
hanging around before, after or instead of purchasing.
     Guilty parties include the downtrodden, brokenhearted, 
crestfallen,
spirit-broken, browbeaten, unforgiven and the homeless. This collection 
of
societal misfits band together, weather permitting, leaning against the
facade of a convenient storefront to escape the reality of unproductive
lives. 
     The age range is from about 50 to 85 with occasional younger 
entrants.
This is the so-called golden age when the fruits of one's labor during 
the
prime years and the glory of the good old days should be 
self-sustaining.
Facing the reality that failure has occurred is unnerving and 
depressing.
Somehow, escaping to the company of fellow losers lined against the 
wall
beneath the No Loitering? sign is comforting. Misery does in fact love
company and there is an eerie feeling of safety in numbers.
     Fifty years ago, this group of loiters consisted of the elderly,
physically impaired, and temporarily laid-off workers who played 
checkers
and swapped war stories. Today, these unwanted guests outside the
convenience stores are quite diverse in their make-up. An assortment of 
dope
heads, chronically mentally ill and those suffering from the 
debilitating
aftermath peculiar to ex convicts have joined the elderly and  
physically
impaired. The common bonds they all share are those of hopelessness,
shattered dreams and a need for escapism. Psychologists define escapism 
as a
respite from reality.
     Each of us needs escapism from time to time. Movies, sporting 
events,
laughter, sleep and a good meal and strenuous exercises are just a 
sampling
of activities we engage in to get away for a while. Trouble comes when 
we
seek to get away too often and too long.
     Faced with seemingly insurmountable challenges of not having 
gainful
employment, loving relationships and a meaningful existence can defeat 
the
heartiest male ego. Escapism is sought consuming alcoholic beverages  
with
fellow sufferers while engaged in male bonding.  The omnipresence of 
beer or
wine is an equalizer. An intermittent sip or swig  alleviates pain and
elevates any decline in self-concept.
     These loiterers arrive in early morning and maintain their vigil 
all
day long. Non-violent and virtually harmless, store owners tolerate 
them
until and unless they harass customers by begging for loose change. At 
night
and on weekends, a second level of loiterers arrives on the scene. They 
are
younger, louder and tend to cluster on parking lots.
    These are the marginally employed who are usually engaged in heavy
manual labor on a temporary or seasonal basis. Schooled in open 
container
laws, they have a mixture of soft drinks and alcoholic beverages 
cloaked in
paper bags. The telltale stench of controlled substances may rise from 
among
them as they lean against cars with sound systems blaring.
    This group of young adults poses a threat to shoppers entering and
leaving the premises. Females may be the objects of intimidating wolf
whistles, catcalls and an occasional confrontation. Well-dressed males 
may
run the risk of being the brunt of player hating statements.
    Younger loiterers are victims of the same maladies inflicting their
older counterparts. Their plight is the bittersweet reality that, 
although
temporary employed, they have no sustaining career credentials and are 
at
the mercy of an employer, Mother Nature, or fate itself. Temporary work
offers a glimpse of what could be and ought to be but not what will be. 
A
respite from reality is sought by sipping, swigging and sniffing.
     Upscale loitering is generally acceptable and is done inside a bar 
or
gentleman's club. Here, loitering is encouraged rather than discouraged 
as
management realizes the new customer attractiveness and advantage of 
having
regular patrons. Still, these upscale would-be loiterers share the same
defeatism of their outdoor brethren. Life and career challenges are 
being
drowned in shot glasses rather than 40 ounce bottles. In gentlemen's 
clubs,
wolf whistling at gyrating, g-strap-wearing vixens is encouraged and 
highly
welcomed instead of being insulting and indignant. This respite from 
reality
is lauded and respected.
  
     The Naked Truth: loitering outside a local store is the sanctuary 
for
aging defeated men languishing in broken dreams and wallowing in the
self-pity of what might have been.

     Their younger successors post themselves on the parking lot and 
assume
similar postures on the hoods and sides of their automobiles as they 
seek
the inebriation of intoxicating beverages and inhaled fumes of mind 
altering
drugs to ease the pain of reality. Upscale patrons of  bars and 
gentlemen's
clubs face similar problems in similar manners. They, too, seek refuge 
from
the realities of life through fancy containers and in fancy settings.
    All three categories of males are exhibiting symptoms of spiritual
deficiency and sublimation. They are looking for meaning, purpose and
acceptance in the wrong places. Unless, they find it or it finds them, 
they
will continue to loiter no matter how it is spelled or defined.

(Dr. Hilliard Lackey is senior education consultant with Young Sanford
 Marketing and Media Services, 3396 Park Avenue, Memphis, TN 38111. 
Contact
him at hlackey@bellsouth.net.)

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