Real People, Real Advice

Dear Deanna! 

I worked hard all year on losing weight, improving my thinking and saving money.  This is the first time I’ve ever been this organized with a positive outlook.  I thought that after all of my hard work and efforts, I would be happy.  I now feel lonely, depressed and miserable.  I was so focused on myself that I isolated my friends and family.  It seems things are worse and I don’t know what to do with my new life.  How can I adjust and become happy again?

 Gabrielle                                 On-Line Reader

 

Dear Gabrielle:

You can easily reverse your situation by again becoming fat, happy and broke.  However, your program won’t be complete until you toss in a few pounds of self-pity.  Or you can look at your current situation as a second chance at life and take advantage of all the benefits.  You’re entitled to put yourself first and if you find yourself alone, then make new friends, renew relationships and find some hobbies. 

 

Dear Deanna!

 I initiated a separation from my wife because she was having an affair.  We’ve been living apart waiting for the time to pass so we can legally file for a divorce.  I saw her a few weeks ago and I’ve fallen in love with her again and want to give the marriage another try.  I am scared because I have trust issues and a lot of our arguments were caused by my insecurities.  How can I work on myself so I can be more of an asset and save my marriage?

 Marcus                                                Houston, TX

Dear Marcus:

 If you go into this with a one-sided fantasy, you’re going to be crushed.  You must find the void in the relationship that caused your wife to cheat.  Once this has been done, you have to confirm that your wife is interested in being with you and also saving your marriage.  If you’re able to get on the same page you need to participate in joint as well as personal counseling.  Anything less than this plan will leave you with pain, dashed hopes and an empty heart.

 Dear Deanna!

 My family has given me a lot of grief because I didn’t celebrate the holidays and I didn’t buy anything for my children.  We decided as a family to go shopping after the holidays and enjoy the savings and spend less money.  My children didn’t give this a second thought until my mother and sister started bad mouthing me and making them feel sad.  Now my kids are mad at me and acting like they’re hurt.  How can I make them understand my decision?

 Conservative Mom                             Charleston, SC

 Dear Conservative Mom: 

You’re entitled to run your household as you please unless your mother and sister are helping pay your bills.  You know what’s in your wallet as well as the bills that lay ahead.  If you made a plan and everyone was okay with it, then that’s the plan.  Load up your car, head to the stores and shop till you drop and laugh all the way to the bank.  As soon as the plan kicks in, the kids will see what you’re talking about and they’ll get over the drama and keep it moving.

   Ask Deanna is written by Deanna M.  Write Ask Deanna!
Email:  askdeanna1@yahoo.com or write:  Deanna M, 264 S. La Cienega, Suite 1283, Beverly Hills, CA 90211